Ring of Blood

I'm addicted to relationships I've never fucking had. I'm trying to chase my dreams but I keep stumbling into nightmares.i have no appetite, I have no use for sleep. She is still all I think about. Why isn't the blood helping?  Usually this fixes things. Maybe I just need more. Maybe I need all 10 pints. She told me not to. That it'd make her upset, but if she didn't want me to do this to myself, why'd she even leave?
Her attention is all I crave I don't know what to do. Maybe I can pretend to marry her. With my very own ring. Made of blood. Just the circumference of my pinkie. I can tell people  I punched a wall. What I really wanna do, is climb onto my roof and fall. It's not her fault. She can't change that she doesn't love me. This isn't to make her pay. It's to myself for not being good enough. It's never their fault, I should have been pretty enough for them to want if I want them. But it's different now... I don't want her I need her. The sound of her voice and the feeling of her hands are the only things that can fix me. The list of things wrong with me is endless but they all have the same fucking cure, romantic love that's it. Otherwise my own blood is the best I can manage. This ring of Blood I wear tonight,  me and depression got engaged.

Love is a Safety Net That Chokes You

I'm upset a lot of days.
A lot of days I wanna die
But this fucking safety net is keeping me alive.
I'm being hung up by my lips
Always controlled when she doesn't even try.
It's been five months and I still wanna cry
There's always something wrong, she's the only thing that helps
When we're together it's like poison.
But I can never feel it until she leaves
Whether we're friends or not
Whether it's I'm a memory or forgot
My emotions are the same
You fucking drive me insane
This is where the audience learns that you're really not that crazy
Just everything I'm searching for
Where I stay up all night and dream about you wishin' it were more.
Some things can just never be no matter how much we both want them
You're too much of a Harley Quinn while I'm nothing but a Joke.
You're the picture I can't let go of.
The lining in my noose
You're all I've ever wanted
It's no use
When our lips came together it filled the emptiness between us
A gap we both hate
So why the fuck are we still separated
Fuck it I just wanna be evaporated
But not just anywhere into the air you breathe
I wanna be your tears, don't you dare forget about me
I'd be running down your face, dying on your lips just like the before.
By now I'm just lying here, no longer your boyfriend,
Dead, on the floor.