Ring of Blood

I'm addicted to relationships I've never fucking had. I'm trying to chase my dreams but I keep stumbling into nightmares.i have no appetite, I have no use for sleep. She is still all I think about. Why isn't the blood helping?  Usually this fixes things. Maybe I just need more. Maybe I need all 10 pints. She told me not to. That it'd make her upset, but if she didn't want me to do this to myself, why'd she even leave?
Her attention is all I crave I don't know what to do. Maybe I can pretend to marry her. With my very own ring. Made of blood. Just the circumference of my pinkie. I can tell people  I punched a wall. What I really wanna do, is climb onto my roof and fall. It's not her fault. She can't change that she doesn't love me. This isn't to make her pay. It's to myself for not being good enough. It's never their fault, I should have been pretty enough for them to want if I want them. But it's different now... I don't want her I need her. The sound of her voice and the feeling of her hands are the only things that can fix me. The list of things wrong with me is endless but they all have the same fucking cure, romantic love that's it. Otherwise my own blood is the best I can manage. This ring of Blood I wear tonight,  me and depression got engaged.