Pretend

I am off my medication and I am pissed. Some may even call it livid, but you know what? I don't give a fuck anymore. I really, really don't. I've held this in for awhile now. I never got mad at you, I never took my anger out on you. I never said it was your fault, not once. I never blamed you but the way you've been acting lately I'm really starting to. Stop pretending like you actually give a shit about me. You gave such a heartfelt emotional speech about keeping me alive and on the planet Because you'd feel oh so very awful in a world without me. You said that you couldn't bare a world without me. And the moment I disappear from your life you don't even bat an eye. You don't give a single fuck about me or how I feel you just pretend to so that you'd feel less guilty at my funeral. You did as little as you could just so you can say you tried. I believed you for a long while. I truly did. I really thought I meant something to you. But as soon as I gave you opportunity after opportunity to prove it you sat by and did nothing. Silence, not a single utterance towards my direction. I get a scornful glance out of you then you proceed to have a fully joyous conversation with someone else completely ignorant to the corpse with your fingerprints on it. Do you even fucking remember what you promised me? Do you?! It doesn't fucking seem like it because you broke it. You know damn well you did and you couldn't care less. I don't fucking matter anymore because you never needed me. You pretended to just so there was no guilt on your end and after you had done enough I wasn't even worth speaking to anymore. You haven't said a fucking word to me at all. You haven't asked how I felt, you just sit there perfectly content in your safety bubble acting like you aren't just letting someone die in the background. You promised me we wouldn't change no matter what. That's what you said. You said I wouldn't be replaced by him and that our friendship wouldn't fucking change but you let it happen. You broke that promise and did nothing to try and stop it. You really give a shit huh? You abandoned me and left me here to die alone and yet you feel so proud of yourself. You used to call me a brother.  Now you just don't call me at all. I can hear you countering my argument with all these minute instances and inexcusable reasons for why this has happened but I already gave you the chance to show me you still care. And maybe you do. Maybe, just maybe you still have a chance to prove to me you haven't forgotten about me. But we all know that simply isn't true.
Have fun explaining it to the coroner.