Alone

Loneliness, it can come in 2 forms. One much worse than the other. You can be Alone. Like I am now,  no one around  physically.  Then you can feel alone. Which is far worse and what I'm forced to live with. Honestly if someone were to ask me what my biggest fear was, I'd say Loneliness without hesitation.  I hate it. No one seems to care.  And if they do they seemed annoyed like they're just putting up with me. The only person that truly cares to help me I can't fucking stand. Loneliness fucking sucks. Loneliness is the pain that comes after my cry for help for someone to beg that they need me and the harsh realization that I'm not needed. That I need them more than they'll ever need me. So what's the point being around,  when no one seems to want you?  It's hope. That small tiny sliver left that's buried under the scars the pain and the sadness.  Still keeps me here waiting.  And begging and blindly believing that somehow this fucked up illusion filled with  nothing but me lying to myself really exists. That they aren't lies and it's truly there. And maybe. Just maybe, in the end... It will...  Become reality.