What If.... Part II.

    Have you ever tried to predict the future?  -- I know rhetorical questions are the cop-outs of intros just bare with me --
I sit and think by myself far too much for my own good. I've yet to see a positive side to these insomnia driven streaks of day dreaming that prevent me from actually being able to dream at all. I guess that's not too bad. Dreaming just sets me up to be disappointed in the end. Anyways, I play out all these conversations. I try to figure out what to say in moments that probably won't ever exist in the first place. So then the mind goes on and explores all the possibilities. Or rather, just what we wish would happen in that situation. I rarely am able to play out a scenerio in which I don't actually wish for.
         It's 6 in the morning. It's not like I can exactly talk to anyone about all these painful adventures my thoughts like to take me on. So we try and be positive. Across the 6 of us, positivity isn't exactly in our nature. Oh look, we got a "10/10" on the last one of these things. I'm glad someone can at least find joy in living inside my head for a few paragraphs. Granted, it's unlikely our biggest fan is going to hate hearing us as much as we do. We have to live with these constant babblings around the clock. Only about 10% ever makes it into digital data.

"What if we just shared more of it?"

Well, since these are more like movie scenes I  imagine in my head rather than just words I suppose we could give it a shot.

       Let's just be cliché and call this day dream "The Perfect Date" if you will. This one has been rattling around in my head for at least two months now. It's one of the happiest things I could imagine but I wish I had never thought of it because I know nothing will ever live up to or ever come close to replicating it even if I attempted it.
For ambiance I always imagine music constantly playing in the background. When I dream about this one it's usually something like "Angels Or Devils" by Dishwalla or "Today" by The Smashing Pumpkins. They aren't subtle in the least but damn are they good ones. I feel like a part of my mind is always listening to music by replaying them from memory. That's my guess on why my day dreams do this anyways.
So it starts off just a gathering as simple as any other.  I attempt to execute my poor excuse for trying to look good with my typical plethora of button downs and simple black pants. Attached is a Street Fighter belt people rarely see. I choose a gray undershirt simply because I've been told that's what works best with the armada of black I wear. Then I put in the effort to wrestle with my hair until my bangs only peer out of the corner of my forehead. The asymmetrical part of it always made me appreciate it.
As for her, whomever she is. Could be anyone really. Although, if I got to pick I'd certainly know who; but it's just a daydream so imagine who you'd like. She could wear anything. I'm not there to gawk at her. However, I do appreciate the shade of blue on her toenail polish. I'm picky with blues. Now that we have my visuals sorted out we can get to the imaginary event itself.

Now we're on a hill. Somewhere, anywhere. Whereever it is- for some reason I know for sure that it took quite awhile to get out there. Which is a great start given the potential for banter that may or may not have occurred. For some reason my mind jumps straight to the hill and yet still recalls myself being in the car.  Based on the time and place of the daydream sometimes the location changes. Sometimes it's right on the edge of the bay, sometimes it's the drive in. My personal favorite is the variation where it's not exactly a hill but a bench under a tree that looks right over the bay because the rest of the city is just naturally elevated. It's just a couple blocks from my house too. I remember being younger and I sat at that bench all by myself. I sat there for hours admiring the sunset. We're known for some of the best ones. After that day I promised myself I would never go there again until I had someone to share it with. So I haven't been there since.
So there we are, on my extra cliché bench. Which is an actual location, that only makes it worse. The sun is just beginning to set or it's already dusk. Those are the times where the sky is most beautiful. I could swear it was trying to compete with her. I notice the small streaks of sunlight bounce off of her. It's an unrealistic special effect sure. I don't control what the dream creates. So we're sitting there, just talking. Everytime she laughs a new butterfly would get loose in my stomach. My smile would get harder and harder to wipe off of my face. This moment just feels so perfect to me. In and out of the dream, I don't know what else I could ask for. As the sun gets lower the water starts  mimicking her eyes and sparkles. "It seems like mother nature has a jealousy problem". I accidentally say aloud. She just looks over in utter confusion given she can't hear my thoughts.
"What do you mean?" She asks
"Well, the sky didn't start getting beautiful until after you showed up so it must feel threatened" I can't tell you how many times I think of these kinds of responses and just never say them.

"Haha. Thanks" I didn't expect anything less out of her. Even my imagination understands how weird it gets to try and respond to a compliment of that degree.

Time goes by and it only gets darker. We just keep talking endlessly and I can feel myself falling faster for her with every exhaling breath. Except, I'm not afraid of it. I feel happy for once so there's no point in trying to repress what little good there is.
The conversation slows down and now I just can't help myself. I say what I've always wanted to.

"Can I see your hand?" I ask.
"Sure, but what for?"
"Just trust me. It's for scientific purposes" As she curiously moves her hand over to me I simply take it and examine it. I press my own hand against hers comparing the sizes and lengths of our fingers. I intertwine my fingers with hers. Simply ignoring whatever confused look she has and focusing solely on our hands. After a couple seconds I just let go and sit back as though nothing has happened.
"Can I know the reasoning behind your 'science'?" She awkwardly inquires.
"Well, humans are like puzzle pieces. Right? So I was just curious on how well we fit together that's all."
"Oh, I see. And what exactly are your findings?"
"I'd say we fit well."
"How so?"
"I had forgotten what being happy even felt like until I was here with you."
"Lucky for you making people happy is my favorite thing to do."
"Unluckily, I think I'm falling in love with you".
"That's okay. You feel what you feel and you're brave enough to profess it to the world and not care what anyone else thinks. I admire that. I won't give you false hope or anything but we'll see what happens".
"Thanks. Don't worry, I'm not good enough for anyone to love. I certainly don't expect you to".
"Don't ever think that."
"But it's tru-"
"Shush, no it's not. Now I think the temperature dropped and I don't have gloves so I'm going to need one of your hands back." Instantly one of my infamous smirks pops over my face along with the short breath of air that always companies it.
"I don't care what happens. Just never abandon me okay?" I worriedly ask as one uncontrollable tear escapes the ducts at the edge of my eye.
"You worry too much. I can't abandon you. You have a diary to finish reading remember?"

From there it's just a classic zoom out of the two of us sitting there under the moon. The background music slowly gets louder as though it were the ending to a TV show.
So there you have it. One of the reoccurring daydreams that keep me up at night. Finally mapped out and told. I'll probably regret this one but oh well. It'll never happen Anyways so it's no big deal. Don't forget, only 10% ever leaves my brain. There's a lot more daydreams to be told.
So what if this were real? Would I be as happy as I think I would be? Would I just be let down? Would this ever even be possible? I don't think it ever will be but no one can ever be sure.