Words

I've noticed a slight return of happiness but only during certain times. I talk with her for hours about the most random things, i start to laugh again. I start to truly smile. Then she goes to sleep. Then everything is gone again. I trick myself into being happy by pretending he’s not there. That she isn’t his. I’m generally happier around her. They tell me “Do something that makes you happy.” But that never works for long, she is what makes me happy. Then there are those who can’t understand me at all with words like “What’s the Matter? You never had her?” When that is the problem! I can’t help it she’s just stupid pretty and I’m pretty stupid. Why does this always happen to me?  Then there are those who try to make her the bad one with words like “Well, she’s a bitch cause she doesn't like you back, find another” When i can’t agree with that at all. This is my entire fault I am the one who falls for her over and over every single time when she doesn't even try. I’m the one who feels dead every time i try to live without her. I know what’s best for me i do. But i want her instead, I’ll just keep on wasting my time. In all reality it most likely pointless and I’ll spend my whole life chasing her. Every time i get close she’ll probably keep walking with someone else, regardless how far my hand is stretched out begging her to stay. There isn't much i can do either, I’m just stuck like this watching and waiting. I guess she’s happy without me.